Stop Asking "What Do You Do?" - Ask This Instead | Vanessa Van Edwards x Steven Bartlett Stop Asking "What Do You Do?" - Ask This Instead | Vanessa Van Edwards x Steven Bartlett Stop Asking "What Do You Do?" - Ask This Instead | Vanessa Van Edwards x Steven Bartlett "If you ask your number, you are begging people to negotiate with you." Vanessa Van Edwards reveals the hidden vocal habits that are destroying your authority and how to instantly command respect without saying a word. Most of us think we are good at reading people, but science shows our empathy accuracy is shockingly low—even with our own spouses. In this masterclass on human connection, Vanessa breaks down the "Warmth vs. Competence" framework and exposes the subtle cues that signal insecurity, deception, or aggression. She explains why "up-speak" makes you sound like a liar, why asking "What do you do?" is rude, and the exact psychological trick to make anyone like you in seconds. In this engaging conversation, Steven Bartlett and Vanessa Van Edwards explore the science of charisma. They discuss the power of the "triple nod," the danger of the "awkward side hug," and the profound importance of understanding your own "self-narrative." Whether you want to close more deals, improve your dating life, or just stop being socially awkward, these actionable tips will transform the way you interact with the world. Timestamps: 00:00 - The "Question Inflection": Why You Sound Like a Liar 02:15 - The "Downward Inflection" Power Move (Used by Obama) 03:30 - The Malpractice Study: Why Doctors Get Sued for Their Voice 06:30 - The 3 Magic Phrases to Make People Like You 08:35 - The "Triple Nod" Hack to Get People Talking 09:35 - The "Head Tilt": How to Deliver Bad News 11:15 - The Manipulative "Hand Roll" Trick Used by Pickup Artists 16:45 - The Challenge: Stop Asking "What Do You Do?" 19:50 - The "Self-Narrative" Question That Reveals Everything 26:45 - The "Peacocking" Mistake Men Make on Dates 32:35 - The Rules of Hugging: Stop the Awkwardness Vanessa Van Edwards is the lead behavioral investigator at Science of People and the best-selling author of "Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People" and "Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication." She translates complex research on human behavior into practical, actionable frameworks for becoming more influential and charismatic. Her work has been featured on CNN, Fast Company, and Forbes. Vanessa Van Edwards, Steven Bartlett, The Diary of a CEO, Body Language, Charisma, Communication Skills, Psychology, Human Behavior, Social Skills, Influence, Networking, Dating Advice, Leadership, Confidence, Public Speaking, Self Improvement, Negotiation, Lie Detection, Soft Skills. Hashtags: #Podcast #VanessaVanEdwards #StevenBartlett #BodyLanguage #Charisma